through the looking glass

i used to consider myself a private person. i grew up an only child for 9 years and it stuck with me. i enjoy doing things on the solo for many reasons. eventually, everyone has to deal with others and i did. and sometimes i regret it.

one of the main reasons i continue to enjoy solitude, to a degree, is because humans are funny. not ha ha funny, but wtf funny. for instance, i don't like/try not to tell my life story and history in detail bc it had been my experience that the same folks you tell in assured confidence can use this same information to make you feel/seem lees than you are. the interesting part is that it's usually the same individuals who scratch and claw to get these details or they too have a not-so-proud background. it's that moment where you think, " this is why i don't be tellin you shit in the first place." i really do fight the urge to say something hurtful in return because i know they wouldn't be able to handle it. see i know that people will always see you how they want despite your constant evolution. if you were a thief in the past, you'll be seen as a thief anytime something comes up missing. if you cheated, no one will ever believe you can have a successful relationship...etc

i am going to conduct an experiment to test out a theory. i won't tell you what it is because if you're reading this you may or may not be part of said test. what i will say is this, i will report back my findings soon as i have enough data....and some folks are gonna be pissed...at themselves.