i hope that whomever reads this will pardon my state of mind. i am currently landing the plane. in other words, coming down from an alcohol and music based high. there are quite a few thoughts running through my head and i might not sound coherent. so thank you for bearing with me.
i'm at that point again. boredom. but not necessarily in the technical sense. for instance, work is beginning to feel like work. it's similar to when the relationship exits the honeymoon phase and begins to get real.(Next on the Real World....)No worries though, I'll be speaking to my folks tomorrow morning, fer shizzle.
i'm at that point again. i think i'm ready to open myself to being in a committed relationship. but here's the catch...(bc for the women i've dated, unfortunately, there's always a catch. shouldn't be, but it was. My apologies, i didn't realize it until hindsight)I want something new yet familiar. (WTF!?!?!?) i know, i know. See, i'm normally a patient man. but like everyone else, i don't want to spend the time to learn a woman...only to learn we're not compatible. this time, i'm speaking of, can last from months to years. Thanks to the universe, i've been in easy breezy relationships as i grew to know her. this has spoiled me. i despise fights and heated disagreements. so i want easy...bc not only is it possible but its better this way. but there is no guarantee that this will happen with the next woman.
i'm at that point where putting on the face and being nice to muhfuggas who don't REALLY give a shit about you is worn. i somehow forgot that self "preservation" is the first law...and that co-workers will do what's in their best interest even while smiling in your face and appearing to be cool/in your corner. (You big dummy.)
I'm at that point where drugs don't help me anymore.
i'm at that point where things are getting old and i can currently see no new. i'm changing...yet i feel people around me expect the same.
i'm at that point where i need to go within but i can't find the key to the Master lock.
i'm at that point again where i'm gonna cuss somebody clean thee fuck out...and i'm not gonna feel bad about it.
i'm at that point again where i'm molting....and it feels good.
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When i first read "I want something new yet familiar" my mind set was different. But, At this stage in my life the rose colored glasses are off. I see things and people more clearly...fully. I want the comfort of an old friend with the enthusiasm of a new one. The trust that takes years to build and the connection that renews with every second. Whether that is within someone new that has traveled the same/similar path, has same perspective on life and understands me from the beginning or someone "old" and our relationship evolves into something different. But I am not rushing anything because right now I need something old and new with myself first.
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