Today at work I had a moment that could've had a ripple effect that I may have not been prepared to accept. However, I'm in a point of life where I am owning up to my shit.
I work as a host at two different restaurants in the St Louis metropolitan area. I encounter people of all backgrounds and ethnicity. I've navigated the waters of bankers, lawyers, construction workers, police, etc relatively without any harm. I've tolerated rudeness, unnecessary senses of urgency, lack of logic and understanding, and the whole gamut whilst keeping a firm grasp on my sanity and a smile on my face.
Anyone will tell you, it takes a special kind of human to deal with the public in the service industry. I love talking and bonding with people who otherwise would have averted their eyes or their path at me on the street. (See a future blog for that tangent). I enjoy providing a good filter for my servers. I attempt to put our guests in a better mood before they encounter the rest of the establishment in hopes that good energy manifested will follow them through their experience.
Fast forward, or rewind depending upon how you wanna go about it, to earlier tonight. We were on a wait to be seated. A trio inquired about how much longer it would be until their table was ready. They were informed it would be 10 minutes longer than they were initially told. Deciding to decline the time and leave, I was handed a pager. Upon exiting, the elder gentleman of the three, patted me on my back and in a low voice said, "you should be more nicer. "
Before I continue to tell you my immediate response, let me explain the thoughts that were going through my head.
At first, I wasn't sure what I had heard. Then when I realized what he in fact had mumbled just low enough, I decided to follow him at least for clarification. "Sir! Did you have something to say to me? Sir! Did you have something to say to me? Sir! Sir! I didn't think so! " I said this holding open the door hoping they would stop walking and turn around. Not only did they never stop or pause in stride, no one ever turned around to acknowledge or address me.
This infuriated me to the fullest. A: I hate passive aggressive behavior. If what you had to say to me was so important, don't you think I may have had some response? But I guess in his head he could just say what he wanted with no consequence. No one was ever going to retort.
B : how disrespectful is it to ignore someone you KNOW is calling you? C : I am tired of patrons, guests, customers thinking they can say and do ANYTHING and that the workers, businesses, service folks don't have a right to say or do anything about it. We are just like you, simply on the other side of the desk, counter or table. What you say to folks can affect them.
I thought I was nice to him. I am always careful to be polite to everyone. As a black man in America I have been groomed to be this way... even just walking down the street. BC I can be scary just being myself.
I guess I'm just fed up with taking crap from unapologetic, self righteous, intolerant, impatient people... Who happen to be white.
So fuck you, you passive aggressive bastard.
